Romancing The Home
I Corinthians 13:4-8 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.”
There’s no place like home!
When 2,000 men and women were asked in Los Angeles what their main goal in life was, the overwhelming majority said that “They wanted to be happily married”. It wasn’t to be financially secure, to be famous, or well liked… it was to be Happily Married. However, hundreds of marriages are being dissolved daily and many of the marriages that do survive divorce are just enduring. I like telling couples in classes that many could easily be writing a book called Misery, telling of their unhappy and unfulfilled married life. They can put on a happy face and do all the things that would make them seem happy in their marriage but deep inside they are asking themselves “just what did I get myself into!" The” sad thing about being in a state of unfulfilled happiness is that you can find yourself getting use to this condition.
God has intended for each of us who enter into marriage to find happiness and wellbeing. In fact He has said that it is not good for man to be alone. But for many, even though they are married they still feel unfulfilled and isolated with their needs of closeness and intimacy. Perhaps your marriage is unsatisfying and all that you are doing is just hanging on… what I intend to discuss with you in the next few newsletters will help you Romance your Home and add the spark that will allow your marriage to come alive to higher levels than you might see now as impossible.
The first thing we must realize to make any relationship work in the home is that love is a decision and not a feeling. Feelings can be changed, but a decision is permanent. Our love for the one we decide to spend the rest of our life with will start with a feeling, but it is our decision to spend the rest of our life with them that makes it permanent. Too many couples when they say, ”until death do us part”, allow their feelings to dictate their marriage getting them into serious trouble.
I like to use the example when I teach couples, of purchasing their first car and having the law changed where it says that this will be the only car they can buy won’t be able to purchase another. Using this as an example I ask them, how much time do you think they would spend in choosing the right car and how would they treat and take care of the car after they purchased it? With this example it gives them a clear picture of how we need to treat those that we have chosen to be in relationship with. It is an unconditional and sacrificial love, which is permanent and unchanging. To have any true romance in your home this permanent, type of love must be in the place. It is the foundation of how couples are treating one another in their homes and if it is missing, it will lead to a hostile relationship environment.
There is a secret that many don’t understand and will never be in the position to know this; As the years accumulate in your marriage, you will find yourself falling in love – over and over again. If you have only been married for a short time and are not in a successful marriage, this concept may surprise you. But every time you fall in love again with your mate, your love gets deeper and deeper, and so much better in every way. There is no such thing as luck involved, only an understanding that to keep true romance in the home, you must be looking for ways to continue to fall in love with those you are already in relationship with.
Bring Romance into your home by making or renewing your decision to love those you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with!!