John 11:41-42 “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. I know that You always hear me.”
Listening reminds others that they matter!
When it comes to your relationships with your love ones, do the people in your life truly know that you understand them? How concerned are you right now about them? Do you know what matters in their lives? And most of all do those you are in relationship with feel secure and safe enough to tell you what their most intimate thoughts and dreams are?
Of all the needs people have, regular moments of undivided attention will find itself near the top of the list. When we take the time to give our spouse deliberate undivided attention, we will be reminding them that they matter to us.
Your attentiveness in being able to truly listen to those who are close to you is a priceless characteristic that you must master, if you want your relationships to flourish to the degree that is possible. We are presently living in a world of self- centeredness, busyness and digital electronics that is greatly hindering us in developing the relationships that we should. If we understand that to love is to listen, we must take the time to stop everything that is interrupting us and enter in to the world of the people we love, by shutting everything else down and listening to them.
By developing good listening skills you will experience higher levels of intimacy with others. It creates a wonderful bonding experience of knowing that they are accepted for who they are by the fact that you care to listen to them.
For I personally enjoy taking the time to talk and listen to others and have developed great relationships with them by just giving them the time of my day. It becomes my gift to them and in most cases I get the same gift back from them. I receive a warm feeling of having someone care about me enough to listen. But this sometimes saddens me, for I know that in many cases these same people don’t have anyone who will really listen to them in their life. Psychiatrists make big money by just letting people talk while they listen. Sometime Shirley and I get the chance to talk to couples who have gotten married and are so excited about having ended their isolation, only to find themselves in a relationship where no one takes the time to listen to them. How many relationships have deteriorated simply because they couldn’y find someone to listen?
The same hold true with our children. How many children never get the chance to express to their parents the deep matters of their lives? They aren’t encouraged to share their feelings and feel that they are a burden and are being ignored when they do speak. And parents wonder why there are issues in their children’s lives.
There are many levels of communication and many don’t get the opportunity of loving someone and being able to reach the deep fulfilling levels that make the relationship a healthy one. Many stay at a surface level of talking about the weather rather than take the time to reach the core of what is going on inside their love ones.
I want at this time to challenge you is to take time to develop your listening skills to higher levels to help you develop strong relationships with your love ones. You will be helping them to open their hearts so that you can discover who they truly are. By taking the time for this, it will pay huge dividends, for your skilled listening in life will help you also, to be better connected to those who are in your life.
Plan on spending some time with your family and spend most of the time just listening to them. Ask questions about their hopes, dreams, concerns and goals. Help them to feel safe and secure pursuing a mutual understanding that will connect you with them in great ways!
May God help you to be the best listener!!